Today everything came to a head when i walked in and did not even get a Hi. My role as a person right now is worker, dish person, laundry doer, complainer, bad at everything. The only thing I can seem to get right is work! The sad thing is its not my dream job... either one. What I want to do in life seems like a light year away. I can't seem to take care of my self enough to get better health wise. If I can't get healthy I will never become the person I want to be. I want my family to be proud of me, I want to be proud of me.
I know even if Shawn does not voice that he is thankful for what I am doing that he is. Personally for me though I am not doing enough. I hate coming home and not having a clean house, and being so tired I cant find strength to fix it. I pray daily for the strength to beable to become a better homemaker on top of working really long days. For strength to do things on my nights off, instead of relaxing and trying to feel better.
What keeps me going is the knowledge that there are people that are worse off then me fighting just as hard; physically, mentally and emotionally to keep their heads above the water as am I.
As weak as I feel now I know that one day this trial will be what made me strong.
Sorry for being a downer this is just how it is right now.
On a happy note I am going to be an auntie again to a baby boy(from Allison and Cory) Kannon Tripp is going to be his name!!!!!
THE END
