sorry for the break!

Well I have been working two jobs so I don't have time for anything. I get up at 4am and most days my head hits the pillow at about 11pm! I feel most days that I'm losing track of people time places... losing track of me, becoming a horrible wife, friend, sister in zion everything.

Today everything came to a head when i walked in and did not even get a Hi. My role as a person right now is worker, dish person, laundry doer, complainer, bad at everything. The only thing I can seem to get right is work! The sad thing is its not my dream job... either one. What I want to do in life seems like a light year away. I can't seem to take care of my self enough to get better health wise. If I can't get healthy I will never become the person I want to be. I want my family to be proud of me, I want to be proud of me.

I know even if Shawn does not voice that he is thankful for what I am doing that he is. Personally for me though I am not doing enough. I hate coming home and not having a clean house, and being so tired I cant find strength to fix it. I pray daily for the strength to beable to become a better homemaker on top of working really long days. For strength to do things on my nights off, instead of relaxing and trying to feel better.

What keeps me going is the knowledge that there are people that are worse off then me fighting just as hard; physically, mentally and emotionally to keep their heads above the water as am I.

As weak as I feel now I know that one day this trial will be what made me strong.

Sorry for being a downer this is just how it is right now.

On a happy note I am going to be an auntie again to a baby boy(from Allison and Cory) Kannon Tripp is going to be his name!!!!!

THE END

Live Oak Canyon Rd. and Twilight!!!

So on Tuesdays and Thursdays I have been going to school at night. I get out of class at about 9:30pm and get home about an hour later. I take this road name Live Oak Canyon Rd. Here is a picture

Every time I drive this road at night I think about Twilight and where they are running from Victoria and her group. I think about Edward and how he practically flies out of the trees and lands on her truck. This started about a month ago.

I'm kinda glad it reminds me of that because before I was always waiting for some crazy person to be standing in the middle of the road! Or scared that I may find a body or something like that. Crazy what imaginations do!

Buddy the elf whats your favorite color?

So this is Buddy!

Shawn has been home since the middle of October. He decided he need a dog (without me)

So Shawn went down to the Orange Shelter to look at an other dog that he had seen on the internet. Turned out that that dog had already been adopted. So Shawn decided to walk around and look at all the other dogs. There were a ton of chihuahuas there and then there was a puppy with no name. Shawn feel in love. I got a text saying he found the dog he wanted. One thing was it was not up for adoption yet and he would have to go back and be first in line to get to see him the next day.

8 am the next day Shawn was at the shelter and took a number and was the first person to see the puppy. Shawn then texted me saying he was going to adopt the dog. I was totally ok with it only because he always said hed never get an animal and this had to be a really special puppy if Shawn was ready to take him home.

So now we have a puppy and we named him Buddy. We have had him a week and he has been so good! We are excited and cant wait to see him grow!