These past couple months have been a struggle health wise. This has made me think about my relationships with family members. Its no secret that I have a non-existence one with my father. I have come to the realization that, that's o.k. There is a song by Boyce Avenue called Broken Angel that made me realize something very important. I don't have anything to prove to him. I shouldn't have to show him how great I'am , he should know. I have the most amazing step-father. He raised me and always made me feel special. He praised me for the good things and helped me through struggles. That is the man that deserves the title daddy. He has pushed me to become the best that I can be and when I fall, he pushes me back up. He taught me to ride a bike, brushed my hair, challenged me mentally and physically. Dad I'm so grateful for you and for steeping up and being the father that we needed.
I have also realized that just because my father wasn't there for me when he should have I can't blame him. I should thank him for stepping aside and letting my daddy guide me to who I am today. I, just this past weekend, have let go of the pain and anger towards my father. I think that he was put in my life to be a friend. I'm going to have to put my pride aside and try to build that friendship. If anyone would like to help me with that please do!
With that said I'm so thankful for my friends and family. You all know who you are:) I believe that everyone was put in my life at certain times to help me become who I am. Good or bad I'm sure i learned soemthing from everyone. Thank you all for putting up with me!!!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Well since the last time I wrote I have become a god mother to my new nephew Kannon, I'm only working one job now!, and still not healthy.
It has been kinda nice only working one job and being able to make new friends and have time to do things outside of work. Shawn is enjoying working for Spec. and likes that he is back in the field that he loves. I kinda feel like I have had time to find me in the mess that life was before. I was totally sinking and not enjoying life!
Health wise Shawn is doing well. I on the other hand not so much. I get up everyday and put a smile on and fake it hoping that one day I'll feel better. I pray daily that one day we will figure this out so I can be a mother and be the person I was put here to be. I will always stay strong and keep my head held high.
GREAT news in my family three of my brothers are having babies!!! Makes up for the lack of one in my life! Richard is due in oct/nov. and Michael and Timmy are both due in Jan. Thanks boys for adding to the family!
I spent the day at my mothers with my nephew Cire and had a blast. The kid is hilarious. We made brownies and he ate a few. I asked if he had brownies at home and he said no because he is Mexican and they don't make them. He also started using a gel that is kinda like sunin. He said it makes his black hair stylish. Crazy 7 year old. He used to live with me I miss him!!!
Other then that nothing has really been going on! Ill try to be better at posting but I'm not promising anything!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Well I have been working two jobs so I don't have time for anything. I get up at 4am and most days my head hits the pillow at about 11pm! I feel most days that I'm losing track of people time places... losing track of me, becoming a horrible wife, friend, sister in zion everything.
Today everything came to a head when i walked in and did not even get a Hi. My role as a person right now is worker, dish person, laundry doer, complainer, bad at everything. The only thing I can seem to get right is work! The sad thing is its not my dream job... either one. What I want to do in life seems like a light year away. I can't seem to take care of my self enough to get better health wise. If I can't get healthy I will never become the person I want to be. I want my family to be proud of me, I want to be proud of me.
I know even if Shawn does not voice that he is thankful for what I am doing that he is. Personally for me though I am not doing enough. I hate coming home and not having a clean house, and being so tired I cant find strength to fix it. I pray daily for the strength to beable to become a better homemaker on top of working really long days. For strength to do things on my nights off, instead of relaxing and trying to feel better.
What keeps me going is the knowledge that there are people that are worse off then me fighting just as hard; physically, mentally and emotionally to keep their heads above the water as am I.
As weak as I feel now I know that one day this trial will be what made me strong.
Sorry for being a downer this is just how it is right now.
On a happy note I am going to be an auntie again to a baby boy(from Allison and Cory) Kannon Tripp is going to be his name!!!!!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
So on Tuesdays and Thursdays I have been going to school at night. I get out of class at about 9:30pm and get home about an hour later. I take this road name Live Oak Canyon Rd. Here is a picture
Every time I drive this road at night I think about Twilight and where they are running from Victoria and her group. I think about Edward and how he practically flies out of the trees and lands on her truck. This started about a month ago.
I'm kinda glad it reminds me of that because before I was always waiting for some crazy person to be standing in the middle of the road! Or scared that I may find a body or something like that. Crazy what imaginations do!
Monday, January 18, 2010
So this is Buddy!
Shawn has been home since the middle of October. He decided he need a dog (without me)
So Shawn went down to the Orange Shelter to look at an other dog that he had seen on the internet. Turned out that that dog had already been adopted. So Shawn decided to walk around and look at all the other dogs. There were a ton of chihuahuas there and then there was a puppy with no name. Shawn feel in love. I got a text saying he found the dog he wanted. One thing was it was not up for adoption yet and he would have to go back and be first in line to get to see him the next day.
8 am the next day Shawn was at the shelter and took a number and was the first person to see the puppy. Shawn then texted me saying he was going to adopt the dog. I was totally ok with it only because he always said hed never get an animal and this had to be a really special puppy if Shawn was ready to take him home.
So now we have a puppy and we named him Buddy. We have had him a week and he has been so good! We are excited and cant wait to see him grow!
Monday, December 28, 2009
So I'm home all this week! Shawn and I have some big plans for the house this week. Today we painted the office and Shawn built himself a desk. The office was an awful light purple color that had to go. Here are some pictures Shawn took with his phone.
This is in the first stages! Shows a bit of the purple.
Shawn's desk. Simple!
Shawn mounted the router and the cable box under his desk.
This is Shawn's little work station. It has the phone mounted to the wall and both his lap tops!
Shawn also put shelves in his bedroom closet. I have the walk in and he has the small one;)
Shawn has also been working outside.
The little stream in our back yard!
The rest of the week we are planning on painting the outside of the house and Shawn has a job interview on wed!!!!!!
Thats it for now. We are doing well and loving the new house.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
So Its been a really long time since my last post! Shawn notified me, so if he noticed then it really is true. Well we went on our once a year week long trip in early Sept. We talked the Fishers into going on a cruise with us!!! It was to Alaska and we had a blast. Here are some pictures.
Christie and I on a train ride in Skagway, Alaska
There was a random toilet on our way back to the ship!
This is in the Tracy Arm Fjord!
Christie and I being dorks
Shawn and his best fried the bear:)
Shawn and I in Juneau, Alaska
Sarah Palins house is the green roof one!
Other then this Shawn and I have been married a little over a year! We are doing ok. We both had a few health issues and are working to get those fixed. Shawn is doing better then I am at changing to get better. We are enjoying our new home and will post pictures as soon as we take some. Other then that we are just taking it day by day.